My youngest daughter has a problem with reading. She's never been real good at it, and this year, her reading grade tanked. Obviously something is very wrong.
What is wrong, it turns out, is something called Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome or Irlen's Syndrome. It's where you seem to have a problem processing what you see, and a clear colored overlay can help.
It's funny, I asked my daughter if the letters were moving when she read, and she told me no. I thought she might be Dyslexic. She was tested for this, and she came home and said "Mommy, the letters stopped moving" I asked her what she meant, since she had told me they weren't. What she said was telling. "Mommy, I didn't know they were moving until they stopped." Huh.
So, now I need to find out all I can about this, so that I can help her catch up. She came home today and we read the Ramona book we are working on and she didn't get tired of reading 5 minutes in. There's a whole list of symptoms, like trouble tracking, losing your place, headaches, trying to read in dim light. It's really odd. There's no medical test for this, you have to be screened by someone who knows what they are doing, and apparently this diagnosis comes with some controversy.I don't care. She's reading better. It works for her.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Stress, moving, mothers-in-law
Ever feel like everything is happening at once? It is. This is not your imagination, it is a fact. Take this week, for me, for example. We are moving into a new house, my mother-in-law is visiting, my kids are taking their state tests at school, and one of our cars has decided now is a good time to leak oil. It never ends. I know we all think that times like this are few and far between, but they really aren't. Last month my oldest daughter started to date, my son had to see a specialist for headaches,and another car was doing badly. Before that my hours were cut at work and we found out another kid might have learning problems and needs to be tested.
So, if you feel like your life is a never ending cycle of emergencies and big decisions, it is. That is life, and life is fundamentally unfair. No one has it easy. Money doesn't matter. Good kids do not matter(although I'd rather have them than troubled ones, the point is that they don't make life any easier) . Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and let's face it, life is worth doing, therefore it can't be easy. You have to work at it and take things as they come the best you can and look for the bright sides. My bright sides? The new house is bigger and we have plenty of time to get our things into it. My Mother-in-law will be here to help with the kids, and if the car dies we were going to get a new one soon, now we just have to do it sooner and it's more likely I'll get what I want. When things calm slightly and I have a moment to breathe, I'll wonder what I was so worried about in the first place. Then something else will break, someone else will get sick, or someone else will visit and things will be moving at the speed of light again.
I'm not sure I'd want it any differently.
So, if you feel like your life is a never ending cycle of emergencies and big decisions, it is. That is life, and life is fundamentally unfair. No one has it easy. Money doesn't matter. Good kids do not matter(although I'd rather have them than troubled ones, the point is that they don't make life any easier) . Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and let's face it, life is worth doing, therefore it can't be easy. You have to work at it and take things as they come the best you can and look for the bright sides. My bright sides? The new house is bigger and we have plenty of time to get our things into it. My Mother-in-law will be here to help with the kids, and if the car dies we were going to get a new one soon, now we just have to do it sooner and it's more likely I'll get what I want. When things calm slightly and I have a moment to breathe, I'll wonder what I was so worried about in the first place. Then something else will break, someone else will get sick, or someone else will visit and things will be moving at the speed of light again.
I'm not sure I'd want it any differently.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
staying seperate from your spouse, married independence,
Today my husband and I hit some garage/yard sales in the area. One we stopped at had an older printer for sale for $5. Why would I want this? Only because my oldest daughter's laptop won't run a newer one, or at least that's what I have been led to believe. This, however, was the second $5 printer I have bought in an attempt to get her one. The last one was missing the power cord and turned out to be a wasted $5. I made sure this one had all the parts, but Dear Husband was NOT happy that I was walking down this road again.
Most of the time, I will defer to him if I think what he says has some merit, but if this has happened a lot he gets irritated by it. So, today, when he told me he thought it was a bad idea, something in me snapped. I bought it. Just a few days ago he was telling me to make a decision about something, and today he didn't want me to, or so I thought, so I made a decision I knew he'd disagree with. In discussing it later, while he was giving me a hard time about doing something stupid, (and yes, it was stupid. I can't get it to work) I told him to bug off because "you get upset when I won't make decisions, so you have no right to be upset because I made this one." I told him I felt a need to assert myself. I also pointed out that a $5 purchase was better than the time my mother did what amounts to the same thing. She bought a car. That was 30 years ago and I think my dad is still a bit bugged. I know he NEVER sent her to the dealer to buy a part for him again.
So, how do you keep your autonomy 15, 20, or 50 years into a marriage? You have got to make decisions together, and know when to defer them, and know when to make your own. How do you decide this? Personally, I make then when I feel they're important. Most of the time I just don't care where we eat, or what we do for fun. When I care a speak up, and if it works out, okay. If not then, next time. We take turns choosing movies, and we take turns choosing what to do when we go out, or where we go with the kids, and other things. There are things we just do my way, and there are things we do his. I put up with his family, he puts up with mine. I can decide to work late if his mother is visiting, and he can decide to play video games while my father is here. He does things he doesn't like for me, and I do things I don't like for him. Sometimes we choose not to.
At least I've never gone out and bought a car to prove it.
Most of the time, I will defer to him if I think what he says has some merit, but if this has happened a lot he gets irritated by it. So, today, when he told me he thought it was a bad idea, something in me snapped. I bought it. Just a few days ago he was telling me to make a decision about something, and today he didn't want me to, or so I thought, so I made a decision I knew he'd disagree with. In discussing it later, while he was giving me a hard time about doing something stupid, (and yes, it was stupid. I can't get it to work) I told him to bug off because "you get upset when I won't make decisions, so you have no right to be upset because I made this one." I told him I felt a need to assert myself. I also pointed out that a $5 purchase was better than the time my mother did what amounts to the same thing. She bought a car. That was 30 years ago and I think my dad is still a bit bugged. I know he NEVER sent her to the dealer to buy a part for him again.
So, how do you keep your autonomy 15, 20, or 50 years into a marriage? You have got to make decisions together, and know when to defer them, and know when to make your own. How do you decide this? Personally, I make then when I feel they're important. Most of the time I just don't care where we eat, or what we do for fun. When I care a speak up, and if it works out, okay. If not then, next time. We take turns choosing movies, and we take turns choosing what to do when we go out, or where we go with the kids, and other things. There are things we just do my way, and there are things we do his. I put up with his family, he puts up with mine. I can decide to work late if his mother is visiting, and he can decide to play video games while my father is here. He does things he doesn't like for me, and I do things I don't like for him. Sometimes we choose not to.
At least I've never gone out and bought a car to prove it.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Duggars, Duggars Everywhere.....
The whole wide world has heard about Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar, a couple from Arkansas who have 18 kids and a show on Discovery health. Every once in a while I do a search on them, and every time I do that I am astounded at the amount of hatred and condemnation heaped upon them. It looks to me as though they are raising some good kids, and they don't have any debt, nor to they get help from the government. They had 14 kids before the media took an interest, and those early shows were quite popular. If you don't think the Duggars should have a show, don't watch. I have yet to hear anyone complain about people exploiting their family if the go on Wife Swap or Supernanny, and you know that the Duggars would still be having kids even if there wasn't a reality show.
Another point many of the haters seem to make is that this one family of 18 is depleting the world's resources by having this many kids. Oh, come on. Are you going to limit everyone to a set amount of kids? Fine. I know a nice country in Asia thats doing that right now.
Another item of unfair Duggar hatred involves their son's "no kissing until marriage" stance and purity rings for their daughters. If you have read my blog in the past I think you have a good idea how I feel about the whole topic. The kissing thing is something I haven't touched on though, so I will attempt to say what I think here. While I don't think a peck or two is going to hurt anyone, I can see how they would want to avoid temptation. Everything starts with kissing, and then you want to go further and further. I know I tell my daughter (at least the one that's dating) that you can't just shut off those feelings, so it's better to just not go there if you aren't ready. Yes, this is an old fashioned view, but being old fashioned isn't always bad. I also thing the way their oldest son courted and married his wife was very sweet, and I think that kind of sweetness and romance is sadly lacking today, as well as the sheer practicality of choosing someone you can realistically live with for the next 40 years.
Okay, enough Duggar defense. This is a free country, they aren't imposing their will on anyone, so just SHUT UP everybody.
Another point many of the haters seem to make is that this one family of 18 is depleting the world's resources by having this many kids. Oh, come on. Are you going to limit everyone to a set amount of kids? Fine. I know a nice country in Asia thats doing that right now.
Another item of unfair Duggar hatred involves their son's "no kissing until marriage" stance and purity rings for their daughters. If you have read my blog in the past I think you have a good idea how I feel about the whole topic. The kissing thing is something I haven't touched on though, so I will attempt to say what I think here. While I don't think a peck or two is going to hurt anyone, I can see how they would want to avoid temptation. Everything starts with kissing, and then you want to go further and further. I know I tell my daughter (at least the one that's dating) that you can't just shut off those feelings, so it's better to just not go there if you aren't ready. Yes, this is an old fashioned view, but being old fashioned isn't always bad. I also thing the way their oldest son courted and married his wife was very sweet, and I think that kind of sweetness and romance is sadly lacking today, as well as the sheer practicality of choosing someone you can realistically live with for the next 40 years.
Okay, enough Duggar defense. This is a free country, they aren't imposing their will on anyone, so just SHUT UP everybody.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Octomom again
So, now her Daddy has bailed her out and she has a new house, and Angels in Waiting will help her with the babies. Doesn't Gloria Alred have anything better to do?
Haw is it that Daddy can buy a house while Mom has one in foreclosure? We are in the middle of a housing crisis and some bank just gave him a mortgage for $500,00, when his wife and daughter can't pay for the smaller house they are in. Doesn't his wife's credit issues extend to him? Or are they divorced and the finances separate. I would kind of like to know.
I know many there are many women who could use skilled nursing for their kids while they are at home. Why isn't anyone looking for them and helping them out? Are they not famous enough? Is there not enough press? Or do they not exist outside of LaLa land.
Bear in mind, I moved to AZ from CA, (all you AZ natives, don't hate me, I ran from CA before it sucked the soul out of me.) Anyway, I find I have very little patience for many of the lifestyle quirks in the state. Things like people buying huge houses, bigger than they will ever need, like 5 bedrooms and 4 baths for 2 parents, 1 kid, and no pets. My favorite is the one gal who drove a huge SUV and told me how people who ate too much meat were causing to many greenhouse gasses to be emitted. At a wedding several years ago, some guy sitting next to my husband told him all about how eating meat was killing the whole human race.
I know we get some interesting outlooks her, just check out Sedona and you'll know what I mean. But here in AZ I think social services would be doing more checking whether or not Octomom was capable of caring for her kids, rather than CA's attitude of "it's all good"
Haw is it that Daddy can buy a house while Mom has one in foreclosure? We are in the middle of a housing crisis and some bank just gave him a mortgage for $500,00, when his wife and daughter can't pay for the smaller house they are in. Doesn't his wife's credit issues extend to him? Or are they divorced and the finances separate. I would kind of like to know.
I know many there are many women who could use skilled nursing for their kids while they are at home. Why isn't anyone looking for them and helping them out? Are they not famous enough? Is there not enough press? Or do they not exist outside of LaLa land.
Bear in mind, I moved to AZ from CA, (all you AZ natives, don't hate me, I ran from CA before it sucked the soul out of me.) Anyway, I find I have very little patience for many of the lifestyle quirks in the state. Things like people buying huge houses, bigger than they will ever need, like 5 bedrooms and 4 baths for 2 parents, 1 kid, and no pets. My favorite is the one gal who drove a huge SUV and told me how people who ate too much meat were causing to many greenhouse gasses to be emitted. At a wedding several years ago, some guy sitting next to my husband told him all about how eating meat was killing the whole human race.
I know we get some interesting outlooks her, just check out Sedona and you'll know what I mean. But here in AZ I think social services would be doing more checking whether or not Octomom was capable of caring for her kids, rather than CA's attitude of "it's all good"
Saturday, March 7, 2009
moving
We are going to be moving to a new place in a few weeks. We are loosing a garage, but we are gaining a family room, a laundry room the size of a family room, a few other rooms, a barn, and 5 acres.
So, now the big questions are where are we going to put everything? A lot of the house is just bigger, we have a walk-in closet the size of a bedroom, a storage room that's small but is still there, and a sun porch that may or may not be used as one. I want it to be a sun porch, it even has ceiling fans and would be great for our patio table, but it might be another place for the things we need a garage for. I guess we will see.
The kids will be changing schools over the summer, and some of them are very excited and some are not too happy. My oldest is upset to leave her friends, my son is happy to be getting out of his school, and the other 2 are undeclared, other than than they like the fact we will have a lot more room.
So, we are working out logistics and where to put everything and everybody, like who's going to share rooms, what room will be shared, where to store our books. (We have a LOT of books) and whether or not to buy a tractor mower or just use a push mower on what's absolutely necessary.
So, now the big questions are where are we going to put everything? A lot of the house is just bigger, we have a walk-in closet the size of a bedroom, a storage room that's small but is still there, and a sun porch that may or may not be used as one. I want it to be a sun porch, it even has ceiling fans and would be great for our patio table, but it might be another place for the things we need a garage for. I guess we will see.
The kids will be changing schools over the summer, and some of them are very excited and some are not too happy. My oldest is upset to leave her friends, my son is happy to be getting out of his school, and the other 2 are undeclared, other than than they like the fact we will have a lot more room.
So, we are working out logistics and where to put everything and everybody, like who's going to share rooms, what room will be shared, where to store our books. (We have a LOT of books) and whether or not to buy a tractor mower or just use a push mower on what's absolutely necessary.
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